It’s that time of the week again. Time to start the week off with a laugh and hopefully set the tone for the rest of the week. I doubt that will work, but it has to be worth a try doesn’t it??? Check out what my fellow Malarkers have on offer too – Moe, Mark, Michael and Grimm.
So this week, as well as making you smile, I would like to help you look after your wellbeing whilst sitting in front of the computer. I guarantee if you read this at least once a day, you will not suffer from a sore neck after spending too long in front of the screen. Well, either that or your muscles will seize up completely and you won’t be able to move for about a month.
OK now you’ve done your exercises, here is a link to check out on how to get rid of “stuff” – its probably not what you think so click on that and have a look – I guarantee at least one of them will make you laugh.
Enjoy your week and I hope that at least one of them has made you smile, and preferably laugh.
This week’s offering is something quick due to me being slightly distracted by exams. I received this via email this week and, just to prove my weird sense of humour, it made me laugh. Make sure you have the sound turned up when you watch it. Enjoy and have a great week – hopefully if you can start it with a smile and maybe a laugh, it will continue that way.
Once you’re done here, visit my fellow malarkers in ~m, Moe and Mark
Its the dreaded Monday again and time to start the week off with a laugh in the hope that maybe that smiles and laughing will set the tone for the rest of the week. Fingers crossed, that’s the plan anyway.
Sorry I missed last week’s installment but the long weekend in NSW (combined with the start of daylight saving) really threw me out of routine.
So today I have a couple of videos to share with you, both of which were emailed to me by my brother. I hope they make you at least smile. The first one is definitely straight out of the “what were they thinking” files and the second, well that’s pretty much the same. I hope you enjoy them both. After you have watched these, hop on over to Moe, Mark and Michael and see what they have posted for laughs this week.
It’s that time of the week again – time to start the week off with a few laughs to ease the pain of a new week.
First of all some quotes for you, then a video, because laughter really is contagious. And make sure you turn the sound up.
Enjoy and have a great week. After you have had a laugh here, be sure to check out Moe, Mark and Michael to see what they’ve got on offer this week.
I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: – ‘No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.’
- Eleanor Roosevelt
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible
- George Burns
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.
- Victor Borge
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain
By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.
- Socrates
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
- Jimmy Durante
I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
- Alex Levine
My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.
- Rodney Dangerfield
Money can’t buy you happiness … But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
- Spike Milligan
Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP .
- Joe Namath
I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap.
- Bob Hope
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it..
- W. C. Fields
We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.
- Will Rogers
Don’t worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.
- Winston Churchill
Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty .. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out..
- Phyllis Diller
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere.
- Billy Crystal
And the cardiologist’s diet: - If it tastes good spit it out.
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It’s that day again. The one where we struggle out of bed and back to the reality of work, and or getting the kids ready for school. So, to ease the pain at least a little, a few of us thought that we would give you a laugh to start the week. Lets face it, there is nothing like a bit of humour to get the week started off on a better track.
I have been doing some research and found some videos promoting some “have to have” products. I’m off to order mine cause I know that I can get them online, or at least on the TV shopping channel. Hope you enjoy the videos and have a great week
Check out what Moe, Mark and Michael have on offer for Malarky Monday too.
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OK so its been ages between posts. Too much happening, too little time. I will post an update on what’s being going on very soon, I promise.
Maureen, Mark, Michael and I thought that we would all start the week off with some laughs for everyone. So here is my contribution to Malarky Monday.
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So, in the war against telemarketing, its 1 point to me, 0 to them, for tonight anyway. And before I tell you what happened, there’s a few things you need to know first.
There are 2 main providers for home phones here, Telstra and Optus. And in the interests of full disclosure, our home phone is with Telstra.
We have Caller ID, ironically it seems, provided by Telstra
When someone calls and they have an unlisted number or businesses (like Telstra) who don’t want you to know what number they are calling from, it comes up on the caller ID as “private number” . When someone calls from overseas, it comes up on the Caller ID as “Out of Area”. Remember these OK?
My parents are overseas at the moment. I have one foot in the dog house because my Mother called last Friday, I saw “Out of Area” on the phone and didn’t answer. She started to leave a message and then I realised it was her. Oooops.
At 6pm tonight, I had a guy at the front door trying to sell me some irresistible deal from Telstra. Don’t they think that we need to prepare and eat dinner????
So when the phone rang tonight, Tiger picked it up and told me it said “Out of Area”, and of course I told him he had better answer it, in case it was the Grandparents and I end up with 2 feet in the dog house. 2 seconds later he hands the phone to me, rolls his eyes and says “Telemarketing Mum!!!”. I get on the phone and this is how the conversation went:
Me: (in a slightly annoyed tone) Hello?
Her: Good Evening Ma’am, I’m calling from Telstra. Are you with Telstra or Optus for your home phone?
Me: Well, you tell me. If you’re calling from Telstra surely you know whether I am a customer or not.
Her: Sorry Ma’am, we don’t have that information, we are calling from the sales department.
Me: And where are you calling from?
Her: Telstra sales department
Me: In India right??? (i’m venturing into dangerous territory here, they all deny using overseas call centres)
Her: No, from Telstra in Sydney
Me: BULLSHIT!!!!
Her: I’m sorry?
Me: BULLSHIT!!!!!
And she hung up on me!!!! Amazing, it worked quicker than I thought it would. And I didn’t dare to dream that she would hang up on me. That worked like a dream.
What annoys me though is that we have Caller ID as I mentioned, so when are the Telco’s going to realise that their customers aren’t stupid and know the difference between a private number and an overseas call????. Apparently not soon enough. And don’t start me on the Federal Government’s “Do Not Call Register”. Does that mean I would be getting more calls if I wasn’t registered???? What a waste of time that is.
Bring it on then. I like a bit of verbal altercation with telemarketers. It makes the evenings more interesting.
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Anonymum has started a series of interviews of her readers. Java Queen was first and I was second. And let me tell you, she holds nothing back in the questions that she asks. There was one that I was expecting but the others were a surprise. And I answered them all despite a one-time offer to change them if I wasn’t happy with answering them.
After the first two interviews there seems to be a bit of a theme happening – our darling Evyl is feeling rejected.
When Javaqueen answered this question: If you could pick any man in the world to have one night of unadulterated passion with {and no recriminations} who would it be, and why?
it seems Evyl was disappointed that it wasn’t him.
And when I answered these questions:
Have you ever been tempted to have an affair since being married {or have you already??}
and Evyl wasn’t at the top of the list he seemed worried that it was becoming a disturbing trend.
So instead of mentioning him in my answers, I thought that I would go one better and dedicate a whole post to him. If you’re feint of heart then his place is not where you want to be seen visiting. But if you have a great sense of humour with a bit of a twist then you will love it at his place. If you haven’t already been, then call in and say “Hi” and tell him I sent you. And he may even let you shout him a beer. And keep your eye on Anonymum’s place – there are plenty more interviews to come and it promises to be great fun. Finally, I would like to dedicate a song to Evyl. Mwah, love ya honey:
