Judge and Jury
It’s been said that you don’t know someone, or know their life, until you walk a mile in their shoes. And until we do that, we really have no idea what goes on in another person’s life, every day. Sure, for those of us who blog, Twitter and have Facebook accounts, we do reveal parts of our lives. But only part, not the whole. To judge someone from what we know of them from their blog, their tweets and what they put on Facebook is misguided at best and at worst, potentially very hurtful for the person concerned.
What if we decide to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes? What if the day we decide to do that isn’t a day that they have to contend with cleaning fecal murals off walls, meltdown week before an IVIG infusion, visiting a dear friend every day to support them in their health battle, bendy wrists and other joints which make everything difficult, coping with grief that leaves them speechless, coping with the challenges that single parenting brings and many other challenges that each of us face each and every day – the big things, things that can make us stop in our tracks, draw breath and wonder how we will cope for even another 5 minutes, let alone another day, week, month or year. If none of those big things happen while we walk in someone else’s shoes, do we really know them? I don’t think so.
We are all individuals and we all have had different lives and experiences that make us who we are. For many of us, previous circumstances shape how we respond in certain situations. For me, if either of my kids have problems at school I may seem quick to jump in but only because I know that sitting back and waiting as I have done before only makes situations worse. You may judge me on how quickly I act, but you don’t know the heartache I have watched my kids endure because I waited. Similarly, we don’t know what shapes others and their lives so none of us should judge. Sadly though, some do and when those thoughts are voiced it can have a huge impact on the person that they are aimed at.
Each of us is entitled to our opinions and to make decisions which affect our lives and our families the way we want. Others may not agree with those decisions or opinions, but that doesn’t mean that what we do is “wrong”. To judge others without really knowing and understanding them is wrong.
Next time you sit in judgement of someone, remember they did not appoint you as their jury. Unless they have asked for your opinion, then please keep it to yourself. Chances are, even when you are asked for your opinion, you don’t have all the facts, you aren’t that person and you weren’t living their life so your opinion will most probably be biased based on your experience.
Maybe I’m a dreamer, but wouldn’t it be great if we didn’t have to worry so much about what people think of us and whether they will voice those opinions or not, especially the negative ones. It seems that generally we are all much quicker to voice the negatives rather than the positives. Instead of kicking someone when they’re down, try and offer them a hand to pull them up. It might just make their day.
I have one exam on Tuesday and two on Wednesday (exam timetable from hell!!!) I know there are lots of you waiting to see photos from our trip, I promise I will post them as soon as I can after the exam on Wednesday. Sorry to keep you waiting.
Edit – A few of you have asked if this post is in response to a comment or something that I have received – it isn’t. It is in response to many comments I have read on other blogs that are very judgmental and also posts by other bloggers about comments and emails that they have received. Thank you for your concern for me though 
Popularity: 6% [?]
Similar Posts:
Wow.
Written so well and so powerfully, my friend.
Agree wholeheartedly.
Also, good luck for your exams. xx
So well put, completely agree…if only everyone thought the same.
Good luck with your exams!
Hear hear. (I do hope, though, that this hasn’t been brought on by a particularly bad experience in recent days…)
Hope you go well in your exams!
well said!!!! and so true
very said…(2)
good luck with your exams and may your numbers come true or balance or whatever .
Of course, of course… nodding as I read. But I have to admit to wondering what prompted this post. Was it something said to you, or someone else??
Luck for exams (sure you won’t need it!)
BB
This is such a well written and TRUE post! It always amazes me when I read comments filled with judgements. Sadly, there are those out there who need to put others down in order to keep themselves feeling “better than” someone.
GOOD LUCK with your exams!! Can’t wait to see your pics. (I’m off to pick my friend up from hospital to take her to her family for the evening). xoxoxo
So who do I have to go and beat the living crap out of?
Cause I totally will.
You know it.
Rock those exams baby. I know you will.
What a great post and sad that not everyone reserves their judgement. If I couldn’t say something to a friend’s face and know it would be taken the right way, I would never write it down as a comment or a post about someone. Thanks for this. Good luck with those exams, can’t wait to see the pics!
Well said. Like BB I’m wondering if someone said something to prompt this?
Good luck with your exams
Abso-freaking-lutley. (and thank you for saying it so eloquently).
Harder still when others see the judgement comments as ‘funny’.
Good luck with your exams, you will romp it in. x
Well said
Good luck with the exams, you’ll blitz them of course!
Good luck with the Exams.
As for people sitting in judgment tell them to go and take a flying intercourse!
People who judge others generally have no Inter-coursing idea.
They are self opinionated and will eventually get run over by the bus,
and with me driving all four wheels will get them.
Burnie.
Having 2 kids in college,I can feel the stress that goes with studying for exams. I tip-toe around the house during those times because I know how very important it is for them.
I don’t know how you manage being a mom and all at the same time. I wish the best on your exams.
Don’t listen to other people when they’re being mean. You have more important things to do.
Now go study and I will quietly tip toe out of here,
Well said and so true !!!!
While there is so much I say on my blog and on Facebook, there is more that I don’t say.
Good luck with the exams.