Too Many Questions - Not Enough Answers
Have you ever had one of those days where you question everything??? Not a fleeting thought of how, why, when, but rather really question, and mainly yourself and everything you do and say.Where things happen and you really start to wonder whether you have been living in some parallel reality and then suddenly you are back in reality with everyone else. Where you have been so caught up in going through the motions of every day that you forget to look at the big picture????Today is one of those days and the questions aren’t good. And nor are the answers. One of those days where the big picture is frightening. One of those days where I am wondering whether being prepared to move the earth for those that I love is really a good thing. Because the ones that I love more than anything keep slapping me in the face. Well, not literally, but that’s how it feels today. How many times do I offer to move the earth before I learn that maybe they don’t want me to, or that they need to do it for themselves. And if they can’t move it themselves then there is more that they need to do before they are ready to try.Do I keep fighting the fight or do I sit back and let it all happen around me and just make sure that I provide for their basic needs and nothing more, because to do more hurts so much. Its not the doing more that really hurts, but the fact that it all seems so pointless. How many brick walls do I bash my head against, how many dead ends do I have to reach, only to retrace my steps and try the other fork in the road. Only to find that is another dead end. I used to be filled with hope and they carried with them so much promise. So much potential. I guess its still there, but its fading. It needs to burn from within and its not and I don’t know how to change that. Or whether I can. Or should.What I do know is there is no easy answer. I just don’t know if I have the strength to keep looking for it. I used to think that I did, but now I am not so sure. The light at the end of the tunnel has gone out and I am trying to find my way in the dark. And its not easy. I don’t think that I can be everything that they need anymore. Something else for me to ponder for today I guess. Like I need more to think about.
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{{{HUGS}}} for whatever is going on in your world right now hon.
hugs
**passes Gem a candle**
Oh I’m hearing you girl…I’m hearing you!
Yep, Been there, got the burned out t~shirt.
((Hugs))
I could have written that very same post *sigh*
We must be going through something similar
You feeling better hon?
Hugs, Honey. I totally understand things.
I hope things are a little better now for you!
*huggggggg*
Yup, been somewhere similar a few times. I did find that a couple of books gave me some insight into the practical problems… I don’t think the ‘where the hell is the light at the end of the tunnel?’ problem can be helped by anything so simple :-/
I have learned not to look for the end of the tunnel but just at the here and now, taking life step by step - trying to look at the big picture of today, yesterday, tomorrow was too much and full of ifs buts, shoulds, what ifs and whys. We often have to let those we love make their own mistakes and just be there for them afterwards. It is not easy to do though is it? I suppose one way to look at it is that we are lucky to have people that we love so much that it can hurt.
The light at the end of the tunnel is there, it’s just playing hide and seek at the moment.
((hugs)) take a step back and let others make a few little mistakes and then offer to help them out; sometimes they have to learn to listen and take guidance after having a few “life experiences” to tuck under their own belts.
Sadly we can’t always lend them our own.
Lightening: Thanks so much for the hugs - I needed them
Bettina - thanks for the candle. You gave me goosebumps - but good ones
Anonymum - I knew you would
Widdle Shamrock - A burned out T shirt - no-one told me I could get one of them LOL. Its a hard road somedays isn’t it.
Suze - thanks for the comment and hope things are looking up for you too
Anonymum - much better thanks. I shed some tears, mainly out of frustration and then did something about it
Lisa - thanks for visiting and your comment. Yeah, feeling much better
Naomi - Thanks, I don’t think that the light thing is ever easy. Especially when you can’t see it
Sueblimely - WOW, you took the words out of my mouth. It never is easy and yeah we are lucky to have ones that we love that much, and Tiger was reminded by someone else the other day that he is lucky to have someone who loves him that much and cares.
Jayne - it is so hard to let them make mistakes - well some of them anyway. Sometimes its easy to let them fall and be there to dust them off. Other times it is much harder, when it seems so much more permanent for them. That’s when I struggle.
Glad you’re feeling better! (Yes, I’m late).
More hugs!